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I had a dream that I was stuck in a time loop. Certain events kept happening during the course of the day that led me to a point where I would get sent back again. I tried several times to alter my decisions and try different things, but I always got caught in the same patterns. There have been a couple movies with this theme. I suppose that dream was my punishment for daydreaming about changing the past. Time Travel has been an obsession of mine since I was 5 years old. But I think I’ve been wanting it for the wrong reasons. We can’t change the past, no matter how much we might want to, even given the opportunity to do so. We will have that technology eventually, and there are various episodes of Doctor Who that are cautionary lessons, or parables that show why we should approach this subject with a type of maturity that mankind is still too young for. Learn from the past, don’t live there. Live in the moment. Be here now. That is also something taught by science fiction. The best known example of this lesson is from the Jedi of the Star Wars movies. Be quiet. Be mindful. Feel your own heartbeat without using your hands. Breathe. Listen. Do nothing, even for just a moment. Sensitivity is not a weakness, it’s a strength. When you try to have a thick skin and cut yourself off from the hurtful things in the world, you only make yourself blind to them when they approach you. I have always been overly sensitive, and, as a child, I always used to hate passionately that I could not control my crying. Now I feel that I don’t cry enough. The last time I cried was when I was standing in front of my father’s coffin. When I consider the fictional story of Mathias in my fantasy novel, he begins by covering himself with armor that is both defensive and offensive. He needs to feel in control, and powerful over all. An Emperor over the stars he has conquered. The progression and growth with this character comes from when he evolves into his next higher form, “Matthios”. Much like a Pikachu evolves into a Raichu, for those who get the Pokemon reference. His upper body has blown off all the armor he once relied upon, and now he is laid bare to the world. The light of his sensitive sentience and heart shining with a light that no evil can approach, lest it be burned away. He no longer needs weapons or armor because he is connected with the world around him at a level and functionality of the exact center of the sun. Thriving in the flow of creation instead of trying to harness and control it. He would rather fly than fight. He would rather spead life than wage war. He needs no title or power over others anymore. Holy cow, this post has gotten out of hand, lol.

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