You have your place in this Universe.If you feel like it’s against you, it’s most likely pushing you down the path you were built for. When you go off-model,the Universe has a kind of gag reflex like choking on water that went down the wrong pipe. You do feel that when it seems everything is going wrong for no logical reason. The Living Universe is embodied by it’s functions as defined by Science, and seen through the entire system of coincidences, which combine and work towards the correct parts/components moving in the right way. Not really avoidable. The lifeform controlling all of this is a mass of BioElectricity larger than you could imagine even if you tried to process it through vast, vivid dreams for 1000 years. You are a spark inside a Jupiter-type Planetary Thunderstorm, and it’s percieved Chaos is an Illusion.